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So here is the part where my paranoid self puts this out into the universe for whomever might be reading it: I don’t expose identifying details about those in my life, and keep those people anonymous.
And this blog is never about what “you did,” but rather “what’s happened to me.” Capiche?
A woman (女) married the household (家) of her husband, hence the logograms for yome Marriage was restricted to households of equal social standing (分限), which made selection a crucial, painstaking process.
Although Confucian ethics encouraged people to marry outside their own group, limiting the search to a local community remained the easiest way to ensure an honorable match.
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Outcast communities such as the Burakumin could not marry outside of their caste, and marriage discrimination continued even after an 1871 edict abolished the caste system, well into the twentieth century.
I think you can guess that what I’m getting to is this: That double date last week went really well and there was a sleepover involved. I’m not a sleep-on-the-first-date kind of girl because I’ve learned from experience that it’s usually the kiss of death for ever having a relationship after.
But here, the idea of not moving quickly once you meet a guy seems irrelevant. I’m not emotionally involved by any means, but it does bother me that I can’t tell.
Heian society was organized by an elaborate system of rank, and the purpose of marriage was to produce children who would inherit the highest possible rank from the best-placed lineage.
It was neither ceremonial nor necessarily permanent.