Dating a twin
In addition to the vertical relationship I had with Mommy, I also had a lateral relationship, a constant pre-verbal reassurance that I had a peer. This feeling of extending in two directions, horizontal and vertical, made up the cross of my emotional life.
At the age of 3, I remember standing in the grass on a hot, bright day in El Paso, Texas, aware as never before that my brother was different from me, not just because he was smaller then and a boy, but because he was different inside.
I loved him and felt protective towards him, as I would throughout my childhood, lout I also felt the first stirrings of rebellion, of wanting to go vertical in my identity, to make it clear to my parents and everybody else that I was not the same as Steve.
He heard a familiar voice and ran for the answering machine. Jeff and Phil love their wives and children, but they obey the orders they get from the mothership of their identical DNA. A few weeks ago, Phil wrote Jeff that he was trying to decide his favorite 10 films of all time.
I feel close to him not because we are exactly the same, but because I still have bedrock sensation and empathy for his life.
Jeff claimed that his knowledge of trust from being an identical let him know that I was the person he wanted to marry.
Jeff worked at a literary agency in Manhattan and loved boy fiction, thrillers, and horror novels, while Phil was overtly spiritual, editing a journal dedicated to the study of myth and tradition.
Jeff spoke of his brother as if he were talking about himself, almost as if he could bi-locate and live two contrasting yet mutually enriching lives.
Search for dating a twin:
A single person might escape by daydreaming about a perfect lover, but my fantasies of romantic enmeshment have always incorporated the twin.