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Julie: Not necessarily sleep with, but at least date. S., has taken root in India only in the last couple of years (that I've been away for). It felt so pragmatic and un-French to me that I never thought it would take off. You are not ~really~ on a dating app, you are swiping photos.I was shocked to hear that friends in Bombay actually use Tinder. Earlier, there were two ways to go about it: Either you're "messing around" with someone, as in having a casual fling where you're not necessarily exclusive and both know this is a casual, fun thing. Dating, as in sleeping or making out with different people, is a little alien to me, but apparently common in Bombay now. Mind you, I don't actually know anyone who is really using it. Marie: I wonder if Tinder is used for the same thing everywhere?But I should also note that the friend I'm referring to hooked up with a non-Indian on Tinder. Marie: Are there any other popular dating sites/apps?Jenna: au is a pretty popular dating site in Australia. So was Plenty of Fish, which is the worst name ever for a dating app.But for those who use it properly, they do meet people and date.But there is also a laziness to it — who has time to message strangers witty replies all the time?I lived in Paris, in Sweden, and in Washington state for a while. I don't know if it's an American thing or if this is just specific to New York, but the dating scene here often feels like an actual market where people try goods (several at once) and decide which one is best fitted to their needs and expectations. It feels way more organic and spontaneous in France, but that could also just be an illusion. You can find, theoretically, someone and get in the groove of things and just start dating naturally, but the talk still always happens — nothing is ever assumed. The talk is done nevertheless but just to know if you should move on or not. I think if you're dating someone for more than a few weeks, then maybe some clearer "erm, hey, are we making this a thing? British people are too awkward to have an "exclusivity talk" — I almost never hear my friends say they've had to have that talk.
Rossalyn: If we're being honest, says it's a dating site, but it's for people who are looking for serious relationships/marriage, they just don't explicitly say it. Julia: Yeah, guys are supposed to make the first move. Conz: I've openly asked dudes out and they are fine with it... It's OK if I walk up to a dude and start talking, but usually they'll be straight up talking you up immediately. Rossalyn: OMG you had to have a policy to not tell students to fuck in a bathroom?!?! Usually it's hands off or the meter rule or the balloon rule, like you couldn't get so close you'd pop a ballon in between you."Julie: Especially when it comes to online dating, which has very much mirrored itself after a transactional arrangement.You're "shopping" for people you find attractive, you go on dates to check out the goods, you date to see if you'd like to make a more permanent arrangement.Tasneem: I don't think (and things might have changed) that random men flirt with random women at bars in India. And if they are the kind of guy you want to date, they will appreciate a strong, confident woman. Because there are a lot of hot, beardy dudes with marginal jobs there. But they also said it's not a big thing if the woman pays; it's just a preferred thing. But I used to get annoyed when boys exited a restaurant first and literally slammed the door on my face. There was recently a huge "kiss of protest" all over India to demand our rights to kiss in public. Julia: We didn't have any of these, and people openly made out in hallways.You usually flirt within your social circle or when you're introduced by someone you know. Julia: Typical date in New York: casual drinks, guy pays. But also, I never went out on a date while I lived in Argentina because it was more organic — I met a friend of a friend at a party and then we would see each other again in a social gathering and then maybe go out. Then, after the meal, if the guy pays, the woman buys the drinks at the bar. I think holding doors in India is not even a thing. (Not deliberately, of course — they were lovely guys. (Unlawful not in the legal sense, but we have a lot of moral policing.) But in clubs and in other safe spaces where like-minded people hang out, PDA is pretty common. Once, a girl in my high school got away with giving a guy a BJ under the stairwell.